How to Get Your Husband Into Kink
So you’ve been having some kinky thoughts, maybe for a while now — and you’re wondering, how to get my husband into this ah? First of all, kudos to you. It’s not easy to open up about your sexual desires, especially if you’ve been keeping them to yourself. That can feel quite isolating.
But the fact that you want to share this side of yourself with your partner? That’s already a big, brave step. And the good news? You’re not alone. Many women in Singapore are navigating this same situation — balancing traditional values with modern desires.
Here’s a localised, heart-centered guide to help you introduce kink to your relationship with sensitivity, patience, and maybe a bit of fun.
1. Start With a Heartfelt Conversation
Don’t jump straight into whips and handcuffs. Start by talking, heart to heart.
You might say something like: “Dear, there’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while. It’s a bit personal, and I’d love to share it with you. Can we talk later, when we’re both relaxed?”
This opens the door in a gentle, non-threatening way. You’re not making demands; you’re inviting him into something meaningful.
2. Understand Why He’s Not Into It (Yet)
Before trying anything new, it helps to understand his perspective.
Ask yourself:
Does kink just not turn him on?
Is he uncomfortable with how it looks or sounds?
Does he associate it with something “bad” or taboo?
Could it bring up old trauma?
Talk about it openly and be prepared to really listen. Sometimes people avoid kink not because they’re against it, but because they’ve never felt safe enough to explore it.
Keep checking in with how you both feel, and make the space emotionally safe. You’d be surprised how much your partner might share if they feel accepted and not judged.
3. Rethink What “Kink” Means
A lot of people think kink means leather outfits, floggers, or scary roleplay. But the truth is, kink is a wide, diverse world and it doesn’t have to be extreme.
Here are some kinky-but-accessible ideas to consider:
Sending flirty texts while you’re out together.
Whispering “Don’t move” or playful teasing.
Touching each other through clothes.
Having sex while partially dressed.
Scratching, nibbling, or light biting.
Rougher sex (with consent, always).
Sexy board games — yes, they exist!
Doing it somewhere other than the bed.
Using remote-controlled toys from across the room.
All these options create excitement without overwhelming someone new to kink.
4. Try Easy, Non-Intimidating Gear
If he seems open, introduce a few sensual, beginner-friendly items to play around with. Start light:
Blindfolds & Masks – Simple but heightens anticipation.
Velcro Cuffs – Safe and non-scary restraint.
Massage Candles – They smell good and feel amazing.
Feather Ticklers – Great for teasing and touch exploration.
Silky Tie-Ups – Soft, romantic, and non-threatening.
Kama Sutra Starter Kit – Fun, elegant, and easy to use.
These are all great ways to dip your toes into kink without feeling like you're acting out a scene from a movie.
You can find these at local or online adult stores like horny.sg and cherryaffairs.sg or even in discreet boutiques around Singapore.
5. Be Patient — and Know When to Reassess
Let’s be honest: this is a journey, not a sprint.
If your husband has never explored kink before, it might take time for him to adjust his mindset and get comfortable. It might even take a few tries before something clicks.
That said, kink isn’t for everyone. If it turns out he has strong emotional boundaries or trauma tied to it, it’s important to respect that. In such cases, ask yourselves: how can both of you still have your needs met?
Some ideas include:
Online play or sexting
Roleplay without physical kink
Seeing a sex therapist together
Hiring a professional (e.g. BDSM practitioner)
Erotic storytelling or fantasy sharing
And remember, intimacy doesn’t require kink to be passionate. There are plenty of ways to reignite the spark without stepping into BDSM territory.
Final Thoughts
This can be a tough situation, especially if you’ve had these fantasies for a long time and haven’t felt safe to share them. But your desire to connect and grow with your partner says a lot about your courage.
Be patient. Be gentle. And don’t forget: the ultimate goal is mutual joy, deeper intimacy, and trust. Whether that leads to kinky adventures or just more heartfelt connection, you’re moving in the right direction.
You deserve to be seen, loved, and accepted; kink and all.