I don’t want to admit it, but there was a time in my life when I hated giving guys handjobs.

In the beginning, when I was first exploring penises with my hands and mouth, I much preferred using my mouth over my hands. It seemed easier and less awkward to me somehow — maybe because it was so easy to see and hear how I was pleasing someone with my mouth. Maybe because I felt pressure to jerk off a guy the way he wants to be jerked off and not having a clue how to do it because I didn’t have my own penis to experiment with.

I don’t know, all I know is that for a long time I didn’t want to give out handjobs without being asked to do it, and it made me feel bad for neglecting to offer up a sexual act that I knew so many men enjoyed so much. So, I bucked up and got to jerking guys off, and this is what I’ve learned over the years when it comes to giving a great handjob:

Just use lube

For a truly great handjob, using lube is a must.

I’m not a huge fan of using lube for sex because I’m a pretty wet girl to begin with, but when you’re going to be rubbing your hand all up and down a man’s shaft and head, you don’t want to use so much friction it bothers them.

Using lube lets your hands slide up, down, over and around your partner’s penis with little to no resistance, and it’s up to you to put on the pressure in your strokes.

Use two hands

You don’t want to be sitting next to your partner jerking him off one-handed when there are so many things you could be doing with your other hand.

Sure, that’s one way to do it, but we’re talking about giving mind blowing handjobs here, so you’re going to have to put in a little more work and enthusiasm.

While one hand jerks his shaft up and down, the other could be gently playing with his balls, tickling his perineum, stroking the frenulum at the underside of his head, or gently sliding a finger over and around the opening of his penis.

Or, you could put both hands around the shaft and twist up and down but in opposite directions with each hand — your partner won’t know how many hands he has on him at that point!

Change it up

Don’t do the same motion over and over again for the length of the handjob, no matter how much he may seem into it, you can probably make it better by occasionally switching things up.

Change the speed and direction of the strokes you are giving, and the pressure that you’re putting on his shaft. Also, don’t think that a handjob JUST has to involve your hands.

Bringing your mouth into the equation will only heighten everything that you’ve started, your mouth on the tip of his cock while you’re jerking him up and down would be a much welcome sensation.

Ask him what he wants

In the end, no amount of experimentation can make up for just asking what your partner likes and wants in a handjob, and there’s no shame in asking him to show you how to do it so that you can give him maximum pleasure.

A simple “Do you like this?” whispered during the act could open up the doors to him communicating everything he wants if you keep on experimenting and asking — and he’s not going to mind you experimenting.

If you’re feeling particularly bold or if you’re in a very comfortable relationship, you could ask him to masturbate in front of you so you really know how he likes being jerked off, and that could lead to a hot mutual masturbation session that goes far beyond just a handjob.

Just like with most things in the world of sex, things always get better with lots of experimentation and practice. You can get comfortable and even enjoy giving handjobs if you try out the steps above and remember that handjobs are supposed to be fun, not work. Take your partner’s lead if you need to, but don’t give up on thinking handjobs aren’t your thing just yet.

Sometimes you’ll be surprised at the pleasure you get at pleasing your partner.